La Ruta

Half of our nights here begin at Cafteria Castillo, this cheap bar around the corner from our university with 3-for-1's of Cruzcampo. The same tall blonde woman is at the bar every night of the week and runs the operation almost singlehandedly. She's friendly but you know she's always working hard as hell; sometimes she'll wear the same T-shirt a couple days in a row. Lately the urinal in the men's bathroom has taken to overflowing when you flush it, and now everytime you walk into the bathroom you're treading on piss. As far as I know the toilet still works fine.

Castillo closes at 1, and once you're there you're somehow always in there till close, and by that time you've probably had at least three rounds of 3-for-1's, and maybe a Heineken or two once they run out of Cruzcampo. Six people at a table and you can't even put your hands out there's so many empty bottles. Everyone's buzzing heavy and the night's underway.

Phenomenon is next. Tiny bar, same kind of crowd, only no tables so it's just a big mingling. I know a group of five or so guys there that are the closest thing I have to a group of Spanish friends. A couple of them run an MP3 blog over at therockpark.com. They like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club a lot, and I try to talk to them about shoegaze in Spanish but it's hard. The easiest thing to talk about is girls, soccer and beer.

Back to Phenomenon. Usually when I go to Phenomenon I'm there with my friend Sean, who is normally a laid back dude but once drunk lives the singular goal of making out that night. He gets beer googles. If you meet a Spanish girl, barring exceptional circumstances (so exceptional I can't even hypothesize them), the farthest you're going to get that night (or ever) is making out. The kids, especially the girls, live with their parents until they marry, meaning that every student you meet is living in the same house as their parents, and nobody brings anyone home. This possibly also accounts for why the Spanish are the worst kissers (best kissers, far and away, the Swedes...) Sean has become something of a legend at Phenomenon, has had flings with at least five of the regulars there. He's the mujerriego. Sometimes he sees this girl he dated for a while and freaks out because he feels like he can't work his game. One night he shaved down to a mohawk which the girls here alternately find irrestible and terrible. At the very least it makes him an intriguing character There are always a ton of girls there and being American makes it easy to flirt. When you consider how inane the conversations objectively are it all comes down to reading body language, so you just find a girl who has been shooting looks in your direction and go for it. The ones with short hair and bangs are always the best looking, and if they shoot you looks you feel privileged. If you're chasing a girl you just keep following La Ruta and eventually something will happen. You'll take their phone number at the end of the night but probably never call them.

If we're at Pheonemon, we're always going to end up at Aguacates, the afterhours bar. Aguacates is one-third the Phenomenon crowd and the rest are just people from all the other bars in the area. By this point I am buzzing at my most heavy and inevitably I end up talking to people here who I can never remember, but always greet me when i come back. They always remember my name and I feel bad because I don't remember ever talking again. In Aguacates I usually just hang out with that crowd of Spanish dudes, unless I'm chasing a girl. There is this one group of super cute girls there who are friends with Javi but I think are 17. One of Javi's friends tells me not to worry about it, just don't ask. Anyway, I think a few of them are 1 They stand around in a circle and sing all the songs playing over the speakers, "Highway to Hell," "Stand by Me," etc. The best part is when they rock out airguitar style during a riff. They love shit that you would probably find abhorrent, like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Last night I was chasing a short haired girl who I didn't know was friends with this group of friends. There's nothing sexual about the way these girls dance, these places are like middle school dances where the girls and guys dance separately. I dance in their circles and talk to them and hands in the dark it through the free shots of tequilla they give out towards the end of the night and this is when I feel the greatest cultural understanding of Spain. I never caught her name but I'll probably see her this weekend, since I promised Zome a mix CD on Saturday.

When Aguacates closes they give out free passes for this disco called Benevente. Benevente's in Plaza Canovas, a 20 minute walk from Aguacates, but closer to my apartment, so I do it often enough even if it's just to save money on the eventual cab ride home. Imagine the worst music played on American radio and you can get a picture of Benevente. Shitty reggaeton, some Jennifer Lopez songs, etc. Nobody dancing at Benevente is worth talking to since they're all just dancing that antisexual Spanish style, and the only guys who make moves on girls on the dancefloor there are sketchy Eurotrash looking dudes who are probably in their late 20's. If you wanna continue flirting you have to go to the back and work your game. It's always pointless because nothing is ever going to happen, but you're having a good time anyway because it's all a game and you're drunk anyway so who cares. Sometimes you have to pretend to be a boyfriend of someone to get a creep away from them and they shoot you the death eyes that only Europeans are capable of. The Italians do it hardest of anyone.

Eventually everyone gets sick of Benevente around 6 and we head home. I always sleep until 2, when dinner is promptly on the table. If I'm not too hungover I can get a few words out with my mother before I leave the house for the day.