oh boners, why did i try skoal?

Dip carries serious social stigma. It’s the disgusting terrible step-child to cigarettes, and it’s rednecks mostly who enjoy it.

I never even considered trying it until Tom offered me some nicotine gum.

“Hey man, you wanna get fucked up on nicotine?”

The way the gum works is you chew it for 10 seconds, and then keep it nestled between your lip and gums. The nicotine gets into your bloodstream directly. This was after two large coffees, so I was tweaking pretty hard. The 2 mgs of nicotine did the trick.

I felt like I could do anything. I could write a 5-page paper in an hour. I could solve a NY Times crossword puzzle in 30 seconds. My brain and heart were operating at a breakneck pace.

Eventually, it wore off, and I needed more. Thankfully the corner store down the street was well-stocked with Skoal.

I opted for the Wintergreen, because I figured the mango-berry-tropical shit would just make me barf. It was shamefully stored behind and below all the cigarettes and cigars.

Dip kind of resembles coffee grounds in appearance, and the inside of a pillow in texture. It’s dark and soft. You take a “pinch” of the stuff with one hand, separate your lip from your gums with the other, and stuff it in.

One other friend once made the mistake of swallowing some, and barfed for a couple hours. Don’t swallow any of it.

The short term effects are fantastic. If you think cigarettes are great, try dip. You are full of hectic energy. You actually buzz a little.

Yeah, you could show me those fucked up photos of people missing jaws, and tell me stories of that guy in your town who is missing his tongue. It's not like I don't know these things. But fuck you, I'm young and I'm going to enjoy myself for a little.