so i was ordering pizza at a phenomenal takeout place downtown. this overweight guy with about 5 beads of sweat dripping down his massive face gets behind me in line. he sort of bleats/yells at the person behind the counter "HEY WHEN YOU GONNA HAVE THE MEATZZA READY?"
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
An unfortunate model of a potentially analogous life: the Dagwood and Blondie Timeline
1930: Dagwood Bumstead and Blondie Boopadoop meet. She's a hot young flapper and he's the young heir to the fortune his stuffy parents made at Bumstead Locomotive Works.
1930 - 1933: She spends her youth wildly in the dance halls. He, the bumbling buffoon who has no business going after such a hottie, goes on a hunger strike for 28 days to win her love. She's a "flighty gold-digger" who decides to give him a shot.
1933: They get married. According to the site: "the young couple moved to a modest house in the suburbs, where they struggled over bills, bought furniture, met neighbors and fought and made up just like millions of couples everywhere."
1934: The young Bumstead family have a bouncing baby boy, Alexander. Dagwood, disowned by his family for marrying under his class, gets a 9 to 5 working for J.C. Dithers.
1941: Another baby. This one is named Cookie. (Cookie!?). Well, that's what you get for only offering $100 to the readers in a nationwide contest.
1941 - 1990: Fuckin' nothing.
1990: Blondie opens a catering business. Feminists everywhere realize their cause is finished.
1990 - Present: Fuckin' nothing.
That's our life. The only potential difference is that they've had a successful marriage for almost 70 years. Half of us (who are lucky enough to get married) will probably (statistically) get divorced, not to mention die before our 70th anniversaries. Makes the Bumsteads look pretty good, eh?
Fun Blondie fact: there were 28 theatrical films made. The "titular" Penny Singleton played the title role (and is a total fox, I might add).
Have a good life, guys.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
it's raining for the first time this summer
The other day I was biking along the bay and two fawns (little spotted ones!) jumped up beside me. They tried to run away-- one ran behind me (the smart one) while the other ran ahead, in the same direction I was cycling. I caught up pretty quickly, the fawn and I were head to head. I turned to look at him and yelled, "IT'S A RACE!" He skidded to a stop, and jumped back into the brush.
My roommates decorated the whole apartment for my birthday, lining the entire room with a thirty of bud light (classy). My favorite part:
The First BWF themed dream?
Last night I had a dream that James posted a really really long post of the blog. The first part of the post was in the form of an internet message board, the second part was reviews of youtube videos he had seen. I don't remember anything about the reviews, but the first section was really funny. James, my subconsciousness really admires your humor. There were some jokes and some pictures with commentary. You also had come up with memoir titles for a lot of people's sexual histories. I remember the titles of four of them:
- The Money Bear: A Sexual History of Leah Karels
- Oy! Vey! What a Year!: A Sexual History of Erika Pearson
- Except a Little Stranger: Encounters You could have had with other People: A Sexual History of Alex Sciuto
- I don't remember the precise wording of Tom's. The gist was that he had been selling himself short, but things were looking up for him now.
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Two Southerners
Did you guys know that both both Usher and Britney Spears are from the South? Yeah neither did I. Well, in honor of this here's two music videos:
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