I've got olympic fever...or maybe just SARS

Last night on Project Runway the contestants designed outfits for the the US Olympic team. Why? Because the Beijing Olympics start tomorrow at 8:08 on 8/8/08 (isn't that cute?). In commemoration of this 18 times in an average lifetime event, I present the official Bros Win Forever Olympic Preview in Fun List Form.


1) The main stadium will look this. Who says a communist regime can't be creative?

2) Here are your Olympic mascots. Upon first glance I thought that the Pokemon designers had gotten lazy, but then I remembered the games were in China.

3) A lot of people have been discussing the human rights problems in China, but what really concerns me is their weather control program. Come World War III, we are screwed. Missiles are futile against hurricanes. I think.

4) Fortunately to combat weather, we here in America have mastered time. NBC is planning to have 3600 hours of coverage, which according to my calculations is 8.8 hours of programming for every hour of the Olympics. China's attempts to send hurricanes at us will be futile when we send them 400 years into the past.

5) One of the US team's biggest stars is Michael Phelps. To celebrate his quadriannual celebrity status, he has grow a fu manchu mustache. U-S-A!

6) 2008 marks the last time that baseball and softball will be Olympic sports. In 2012, they will join past favorites such as tug of war, croquet, and motor boating.

7) Traditionally in the opening ceremony the delegations from every country march in alphabetical order, but not in Beijing. Tomorrow night, the teams will enter the stadium in order of character stroke count, meaning that Australia and Zambia will be the 203rd and 204th teams to enter.

8) The US Men's basketball team has been deemed the "Redeem Team", since they sucked in 2004. In 2000, though, Vince Carter jumped over some French guy.

9) My predictions for Men's K-1 1000m Flatwater Kayaking:
G: Eirik Veraas-Larsen, Norway
S: Tim Brabants, Great Britain
B: Adam van Koeverden, Canada

Tune in on 8/22 to see if I'm right.

10) As Americans, we're supposed to be concerned that China could possibly accumulate as many medals as us. I'm more concerned with Macedonia. With just one bronze medal in their entire Olympic history, I think it's safe to say that they're due.


Got the Olympic spirit yet? Eric Moussambani does.