An unfortunate model of a potentially analogous life: the Dagwood and Blondie Timeline

1930: Dagwood Bumstead and Blondie Boopadoop meet. She's a hot young flapper and he's the young heir to the fortune his stuffy parents made at Bumstead Locomotive Works.

1930 - 1933: She spends her youth wildly in the dance halls. He, the bumbling buffoon who has no business going after such a hottie, goes on a hunger strike for 28 days to win her love. She's a "flighty gold-digger" who decides to give him a shot.

1933: They get married. According to the site: "the young couple moved to a modest house in the suburbs, where they struggled over bills, bought furniture, met neighbors and fought and made up just like millions of couples everywhere."

1934: The young Bumstead family have a bouncing baby boy, Alexander. Dagwood, disowned by his family for marrying under his class, gets a 9 to 5 working for J.C. Dithers.

1941: Another baby. This one is named Cookie. (Cookie!?). Well, that's what you get for only offering $100 to the readers in a nationwide contest.

1941 - 1990: Fuckin' nothing.

1990: Blondie opens a catering business. Feminists everywhere realize their cause is finished.

1990 - Present: Fuckin' nothing.

That's our life. The only potential difference is that they've had a successful marriage for almost 70 years. Half of us (who are lucky enough to get married) will probably (statistically) get divorced, not to mention die before our 70th anniversaries. Makes the Bumsteads look pretty good, eh?

Fun Blondie fact: there were 28 theatrical films made. The "titular" Penny Singleton played the title role (and is a total fox, I might add).


Have a good life, guys.